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Thoughts on Motherhood

I've been doing a lot of thinking and spending time in prayer about my role as a mother. I want to become more like my Lord walking in love, forgiveness and grace toward my children. I am learning that this is not as easy as I would have hoped or thought. It requires more of me daily, to give even when I don't feel like giving. I've recently wondered why no one warned me that raising young adults would be hard. I've even asked the Lord how He handles similar situations with us, His adult children. I know that He has had to deal with similar situations daily, because we are not that different from our own children, just older. However, the difference between Him and I is He still loves me, He talks with me, He forgives me and helps me to correct my way, even when I am being my most ugliest.

Oh, how I want to be just like Him. I'll admit I didn't think that I could do it. It is hard, painful and there are times when you even doubt your ability and sanity. However, the one sure thing that I have held onto is, He will never leave me nor forsake me especially in my time of need. I am very grateful for His love, presence and the dear friends He has blessed me with, because I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that without these blessings working in and though my life, I would be lost.

I've been reading bits and pieces from "God is in the Hard Stuff" by Bruce & Stan when the chapter on "A Mother's Anguish" caught my attention and my heart. In this chapter, they discuss the various challenges and stages of motherhood that I totally can identify with. The one that speaks to me clearly now is:

"Motherhood suffers the growing pains of the teenage years, with the hope of being rewarded with close friendship when maturity kicks in."

Yes, I've recently learned how true this is and I am looking forward to its end. It goes on to talk about how the joys of motherhood are some of life's sweetest rewards along with being filled with life's hardest stuff. How I can relate to this even now as we face some new challenges in our family. They go on to talk about the importance for us, mothers, learning to let go of our children so they may mature. This requires us to let go of something we hold most dear, in hopes of gaining something more precious. They point out that if we are letting go to let God, it is a very good thing because we are allowing God His rightful place in their lives so they may walk with and before Him according to His plan.

As I have been working through this new season in my life, I have come to understand and appreciate letting go to let God work in my dear children. I can honestly say that my perspective is changing from one of anxiety to one of anticipation. I am still learning and there are days when I want to hold on tight, but I am slowing letting go and trusting the Lord to do what He promised. Besides, they are His children and He knows whats best for them even if I think I do. I am more confident and relaxed in my approach and mindset these days. I am now okay with the fact that I am not in control that He is in this area and every area of my life when I let Him. This is a big step for me since I have a tendancy to try controling everything everything around me. But His promise to dwell in a peaceful place ~ under the shadow of the Almighty ~ is so much better than the bitter, cold and lonely place I have found myself in when I am controling. Under His protection is where I want to rest and long for my dear children to also abide.

My prayer, Lord, is that I will continue to walk in your word and truth, so that I may live the hope of a close friendship with my children. That I may continue to experience the peace, wisdom and love of the Father and be able to share that with my children. Lord, thank you for never giving up on me and helping me to not give up during these trying times and learning to let go so that you can be God in our lives. Thank you, Amen.

~ The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise Him. Ps. 28:7

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