"Has someone seen the life I planned?
It seems it's been misplaced
I've looked in every corner
It's lost without a trace..." ~ Beth Moore~
From the poem: "The Life I Planned "Who knew ~ definitely not me. Knew what?, you ask. That I would be a homeschooling mother of 3 and wife of 15 years living in Oklahoma ~ especially the living in OK part. I know it was not part of what I'd planned. Oh, I remember well my best laid plans growing up in the Bronx. I would marry my knight in shining armour, we'd have 2 girls and live happily ever after. Well, its been 20+ years later and life just isn't at all how I'd planned it ~ not even close.;D
Now don't misunderstand, I'm not unhappy. But now that I've been thinking about it, I see how different life really has become and how I've grown. I realize that I was living a fantasy that didn't measure up to reality and never will. I also realize that I could be dead, homeless, without children or husband and neither of these things are part of my life, therefore I am thankful for where I am and what I have even if I don't live in a kingdom on a hill.
Its interesting that as children, we have all these wonderful hopes and ideas about what life will be like: where we want to live, who we want to marry, etc., but its even more interesting to see where we end up, I think. It usually is always better than where we started. I know this to be true in my life. I have more friends than I ever thought possible, I've seen more things than I've ever dreamed possible, I am living in the MidWest for Pete sake's and lovin' it ~ that doesn't normally happen to a city girl. ;D
I know that my life's plans changed the day I accepted the Lord's words on His plans for me ~ yes, I was married w/3 children still holding out for that elusive knight and kingdom, but I got so much more:
"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end." Jer. 29:11It was June 1999, I was preparing for graduation from Bible School. This scripture became my life line and is known as my life scripture. It has sustained me when my plans fail, when I don't understand why my life is taking crazy turns and simply when I need an answer about my future. I can't say I don't make life plans anymore, but I can say I always go to the source of my plans to get clarity and ensure that their His thoughts. Its definitely a more fulfilling life too. My prince is the Lord Jesus Himself, my kingdom is in Heaven and I have a mansion that is being prepared just for me ~ now who could ask for more than that. All this and the daily wonders He does for me are more than I could ever ask or think. I am forever grateful for that interruption by God that summer day.
I've got new plans now, but I have to tell you some of my old plans have come true, like the ability to write this post. I love to write (did I mention I love to talk too ;D), especially poetry and I recently rediscovered my passion for writing. Blogging has been a major part of that re-kindling. It is so freeing and satisfying to write and express myself and simply allow God to speak through me to others. I've watch Him develop this same gift in my children ~ thats so amazing. Another wonderful life plan I had was to draw. Yelp, I always loved to draw and would see beautiful pictures in my mind's eye but they never looked quite like my mental image once on paper. As I homeschool my children, I am learning to draw and there is much improvement in my skills. Not necessarily Picasso quality, but at least I am able to actually get some of the mental picture on paper now.
Who knows, I still may become a great writer/singer/artist, but for now I am content to be mother/wife/friend and most of all, Child of the Most High ~ whose plans have been ordered by her Father. And the best part about being a Child of the Most High is, He always remembers our plans we once had and brings them back to our rememberance so that we may enjoy them like my writing and art. Thanks, Daddy, you're the best!
~ Be Blessed ~