Night in the Presence of the King
I couldn't sleep ~ I tossed and turned, weeped and cried silently. Words flying through my head, thoughts of discouragement and pain. Ideas of my own design to fix it. On and on this went for hours, til I finally got up and went to the bathroom. I cried out to God for release, nothing. I wondered why and still nothing. I cleaned my face and decided to read awhile. Then, He showed up.....
Yes, the Lord God, my Abba Father. Filled my heart and mind with His presence and I began to understand. He was calling me to a time of prayer and fellowship with Him. He was wooing me to come and sit at the Master's feet and rest. Oh how I desperately needed to rest, to have peace of mind and He freely gave. No, He didn't answer my questions but He did show me how to handle my troubling mind, the pain in my heart and the dead silence that was trying to take over. I prayed, read, and wrote in my journal. I re-read my journal entries and began to see how God was orchestrating the events in my life and using the bad ones to make new ones that would bless me if I would only be patient.
I arose from my chair refreshed, peaceful and painfree. I forgave everyone, for everything ~ big and small. I released them to His loving care and asked for forgiveness for trying to do it all myself. I am only one person, weak in my own right but so very strong when I rely on Him. It was a rough night, but as He promised joy came in the morning and I have a song in my heart, on my lips and proceeding out of my mouth. I shall shout His praises at the gate, as I come in and go out.
I didn't expect this nor did I realize how much I really hurt, but praise Him for His infinite wisdom and mercy. He has delivered me, yet again, from myself and torment. He has restored my joy and He has filled my heart with His song.
~ Today I am thankful ~
to be alive
for loving children
a godly husband
to be known of God.
"Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice! ~ Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Phil 4:4, 6 & 7 (NKJV)
Hi there. Just linked over from Laced With Grace (liked your title- I'm a home school mom.) Interesting what you said about not even knowing how much you were hurting. We don't even know ourselves well enough to know what needs healing in our hearts or what's going on deep in our soulds. Good thing the Holy Spirit intercedes for us, and our Maker sees every nook and cranny of our souls. I'm glad He can help us, even though we don't know what to ask for!
Posted by
batgirl |
5:02 PM